PageGoblin

Your landing page is bad.
Goblin will tell you exactly how.

Goblin reads your landing page like a reasonable creature who has seen too many of them and is no longer impressed. Goblin scores it on twelve things. Free report in about 30 seconds.

See a roast first

workwithmono.com 5.7 /10

"Mono knows what it is — a senior engineering team that ships fast — but Goblin cannot find a price, a clear audience, or a single CTA that doesn't rely on a dead href to do its job."

Hero clarity 6/10 Read the roast →

WHAT GOBLIN LOOKS AT

Twelve things, scored.

Same rubric every time. Goblin does not grade on a curve. Goblin does not soften it because you tried hard.

    Above The Fold

  • Hero clarity

    Who is this for and what does it do.

  • Value prop specificity

    Concrete promise or vague aspiration.

  • CTA prominence

    One clear action. visible.

  • Trust signals

    Logos, names, numbers. or nothing.

    Content Quality

  • Copy concreteness

    Real outcomes or marketing speak.

  • Social proof depth

    Named customers or "happy users".

  • Objection handling

    Does it address what makes buyers hesitate.

    Design and UX

  • Visual hierarchy

    Does the eye know where to go.

  • Social proof depth

    Does it work on a real phone.

  • Objection handling

    First paint. layout shift. the boring stuff.

    Conversion Mechanics

  • Form and CTA friction

    How many fields. how many clicks. how much pain.

  • Pricing clarity

    Is the price visible. is it simple.

WHAT YOU GET

Two roasts, One free. One worth it.

Free

$0

+ 3 dimensions scored

+ Overall score

+ Goblin's verdict

+ Shareable URL

Full Roast

$9

+ Everything in Free

+ All 12 dimensions scored

+ Rewrites for copy dimensions

+ Priority fixes

+ Things Goblin respected

+ Download Report as PDF

+ Shareable URL

WHAT HUMANS SAY AFTER

They asked to be roasted.

"Goblin gave my hero a 3 and told me exactly why. Rewrote it that afternoon. Demo signups doubled the next week."
Priya Nair Founder, Shipfast
Scored 3/10
"I paid the $9 expecting a laugh. Got fourteen specific fixes ranked by impact instead. Cheapest CRO consult of my life."
Marcus Webb Growth, Tendril
Scored 5/10
"Brutal. Accurate. The "things Goblin respected" section was three lines long and I framed it."
Sofia Alvarez Solo founder, Notewise
Scored 6/10
"Goblin found a CTA buried below three competing buttons I'd stopped seeing. Embarrassing. Fixed it in ten minutes."
Daniel Kim PM, Loophole
Scored 4/10
"Sent the report to my designer with no comment. He just replied "yeah, fair." We shipped the rewrites Monday."
Hannah Brooks CEO, Fernhill
Scored 5/10
"The free report stung enough that I had to see the other nine. Worth every cent of the nine dollars."
Tom Okafor Indie hacker
Scored 2/10

QUESTIONS GOBLIN GETS A LOT

Things humans ask.

Is Goblin actually mean?

Goblin is honest. Sometimes that overlaps with mean. Goblin roasts the page, never the person. If you wanted gentle feedback you already have a co-founder.

What if my page is genuinely good?

Then Goblin will tell you so. Begrudgingly. With evidence. This is rare.

How long does it take?

Usually 30 to 60 seconds. Goblin reads at industrial speeds.

What pages can Goblin roast?

Most public landing pages. SaaS, mobile apps, agencies, courses, e-commerce. Goblin does not roast password-protected pages or internal dashboards. Those are not landing pages.

What if Goblin gets it wrong?

Goblin is opinionated, not infallible. Take what is useful. Ignore what is not. Email Goblin if Goblin missed something obvious. Goblin will grumble. Goblin will learn.

Refunds?

If the report is broken or genuinely unhelpful, Goblin refunds you. Email Goblin. No process.