About Goblin.
Goblin lives in a cave. The cave has good Wi-Fi, three vertical monitors, and a coffee setup that cost more than rent. Goblin reads landing pages. Goblin has been doing this for longer than Goblin cares to admit.
Goblin used to do something else. Goblin does not talk about that.
At some point Goblin started writing down what was wrong with every page Goblin read. Then Goblin started charging $9 for the notes. Then people started emailing Goblin angry. Then more people started emailing Goblin thankful. Both types are fine.
Goblin does not do consulting. Goblin does not do redesigns. Goblin reads your page, tells you what is wrong, writes you rewrites, and moves on. That is the whole thing.
THINGS GOBLIN RESPECTS
Goblin likes these.
- + Value prop specificity
- + Pricing on the homepage
- + Real photos of real customers
- + CTAs that say exactly what happens next
- + Pages that load in under two seconds
- + Footers with a current year
- + Stripe's homepage. Begrudgingly.
THINGS THAT MAKE GOBLIN TIRED
Goblin hates these.
- × "We help businesses grow."
- × Stock photos of people pointing at laptops
- × "Empower" anywhere on a page
- × Hero videos that autoplay with sound
- × "Talk to sales" for a $19/mo product
- × Three CTAs above the fold
- × "Learn more" as a button label
- × Trust badges from companies nobody has heard of
BEHIND THE CURTAIN
Who actually built this.
PageGoblin is built and operated by Mono, a software studio based in India that specialises in React, React Native, and Firebase.
Goblin is a character. The audit is real. The rubric is real. The rewrites are generated by AI and reviewed by Goblin's rubric. The opinions are Goblin's own.
Questions, complaints, fan mail, and hate mail: grrr@goblin.page